To zombie or not to zombie. That is a stupid question.

This weekend I was part of an MTV Truth campaign that my friend, Alan Harris, directed. It was a blast. Below are pics (breathe easy guys, no spoilers) of the zombification. Make-up took an hour and a half to get on, and about an hour to get off … except I left the leg wound to wear the rest of the day and scare children/my friends. It worked! An italian ice guy rolled by, saw my leg wound, and felt so bad that he tried to give me a scoop for free!

The day started at 6am and shot at a former porn studio, now the awesome Cinema World. But you still got that old bomchickabom feel, one makeup room had a hot tub in it. Amazing.

To wear the contacts below, I had to take out my real contacts. AKA I was blind when I was actually on set. So, Alan, you sounded like you were doing a great job!

Just a few zombies, havin a laugh.

Friends were made, fake blood was ingested, and a good time was had by all.

Ruff Monday?

Do yourself a favor and google image “pug in a sweater”. You’ll find such gems as Little Red Riding Pug.

and Emo Pug.

Now get out there and have yourself a great tuseday!

*if Tuesday isn’t too fun either, you can always pull out the big guns and do a “pomeranians in sunglasses’ search. But only in emergencies.

I’m gonna sit this one out. I’m cutting back on my sodium…

and bitchy face intake. Thanks tho.

What is ‘too much time on your hands’?

Sometimes I run across images like this on the internet and I feel good about my life. I don’t spend my days making tiny costumes for my pet squirrel, and devoting hours upon hours building tiny sets for said squirrel.

And then I realize that I just googled “squirrel dressed as Alex Trebek” and feel even awesomer about my life!

*this image is from http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com You must go there and change your life. And if you are thinking about doing a short doc on this petite model, then take a number. I’m on it!

I’m thrilled to be working.

Tomorrow morning I will be a zombie in an MTV ad my friend Alan is directing.

Tuesday, I am breaking a record for URDB at Joe’s Pub. The record? Eating as many corndogs as I can while doing the dance from “Thriller”.

It’s coincidences like these that let me know me career is in the right direction.

Right towards the grave.

I kid! it’s gonna be a blast all around.

How embarrassing! How TOTALLY embarrassing!

Ok, not really, but I got your attention didn’t I? I have plenty of embarrassing things about me on deck for this blog but right now its just a video I made when i got bored a couple years ago.

*OK, fine. I got called out by spell check on how to spell “embarrassing” every time I wrote it in this blog. I spelled it “embarassing”, How very much that!

It’s also embarrassing that this video is two minutes long when the visuals end at one minute. Oh, and that I still don’t have an agent. OH, and that I still go to Raven for advice. And she’s pricey!

I swear, I am not horsing around whatsoever.

OK, ok. You’re cute. I’m woman enough to admit that. The costume is dope with your 80’s weird hair metal mane and I’m pretty sure you’re an inter-racial baby which pretty much means you’re guaranteed cute.

But in this newfound level of honesty we have with each other, I just have to say….. BABY HORSES ARE SO MUCH CUTER THAN BABIES DRESSED AS HORSES. Listen, for a sec. It’s a numbers game baby dressed as a horse. Sure, you might be extremely adorable but here’s the deal. ALL baby horses are cute. Every friggin one of them. Your team needs to step it up. Look at this guy…

For reals? I’m just hoping that this baby dressed as a horse has his hands up because he wants his parents to get him the hell out of that costume. I mean, really, patchwork cheeks? And what’s with those sleeves?! Oh I get it, a Native American got drunk at the ol’ casino and gave it to a pony and therefore, you, a half breed/love child became to exist. So, your hands are in the air cause you’re actually conjuring up your dead ancestors around a campfire, gotcha.

Listen, I don’t care what kind of hybrid freak you’re parents dress you up as, but those huge seams are unforgiveable. Get a decent fuckin sewing machine for god’s sake. Oh whats that? You’re uncle made that costume? Well tell that jack ass to… Oh Hi uncle dressed as horse!

I was just saying what an amazing job you did on that costume. Really. I tried feeding that baby dressed as horse a carrot earlier because it was so realistic. And it was all “I can’t eat solids yet” and we just laughed and laughed. Ok, it was a pleasure, neigh, an honor meeting you. Get it? Neigh! Like a horse noise. Oh ok, bye!
….
What the fuck, baby dressed as horse? Give me some warning. Now where was I? Oh yes, Look how adorable a REAL baby horse is?

Ok, now you ready to have your 8 month old mind blown? That isn’t even a baby! That’s a miniature horse! An adult! Even further proof that you are the less cute species.

Now in other news, how about fewer babies dressed as horses and more baby horses dress as other things. Such as this..

(note the kids dressed as horses in the background. God it’s sad. Wait, are those horses? Bears? What the hell are those things?)

In all seriousness folks, not all horses have it good. Look at this pathetic asshole.

“Thanks owner. Ya know, I was just thinking about how I’m not hot enough completely covered in hair in this blazing Utah sun. And then you come around and put 20,000 cotton balls on me. I can’t tell you how on the same wavelength we are. Now would you be so kind as to stick that staff through my temple?!?”

I was never the little girl that dreamed about her perfect wedding.

But this dress could make me change my tune.

You know what, let’s not get crazy, how bout we just change it to a hot pink frosting and make it Cudzoo’s newest look, eh?

We’re gonna have to bring up that hemline. Actually, you know what, keep it as is. I’ll eat it as short as I need it.

Saw this commercial tonight while watching Seinfeld.

Awww, what adorable sleeping animal babies. Precious.

Wait. What?

Did no one else notice the bright colored nooses that were on those baby chicks necks?!? Sleepy’s you’re the real animal!!

Hey. Key Lime, can we talk a second?

Look, I know we had our differences for the first 24 years of my life but I just wanted to say I’m sorry. It’s just that I was raised… wait, no I’m talking now. When I finish and you have something to say I will gladly listen, but now is my time. You’re awesome, ok? I know that now. I’m really not a dick. But I do know that it was wrong of me to judge you off the bat without giving you a real shot. And for that, I’m sorry. We don’t have to besties but I do hope you can find it in your heart to get into my stomach right the F* now.