cockadoodleDON’T!

i will never be the same after walking thu union square yesterday. i was scared, and scarred. one might say that i was union squarred. if that one was a total nerd who loved puns (present!)

i see the standard drunk passed out dude sitting on a bench. this noramlly wouldnt garner a second look but i see he has two bags of trader joe’s 3 buck chuck pinot noir beside him. after realizing i have the sommelier taste capacity of a bum, i see he’s covered in the stuff. from top to holy shit thats his penis!! ewwwww, my first flash.

and lets just say the image did not hold tru for the reputation of.. ahem…

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** while trying to find the picture above i ran across the worlds GAYEST chicken. check it out

oh this chicken lays alright… other dude chickens. oh yes this chicken pecks.. as in works in his pecs at crunch gym. of course he lives in a coop…. as in a co-op one bedroom in the meat packing district. yeah he’s got a beak… and… im out!

am i crazy or?

sistas are doing it for themselves!

my sister annie came into town this weekend and was a whirlwind of southern fun. highlights include burlesque, a cameo on my BOF show, lotsa eat’n,&  karaoke in koreatown. 

we also sang songs that we wrote as kids (“i know how it feels” & “you’re, only in my heart, Love you baby so”), discussed our hit horror film we created Night Fright (coming soon to a blog near you),  and i learned that Annie actually got stuck in an airplane bathroom as a child. I straight up  stole that memory and thought it happened to me.

last BOF: This Old Thing Tomorrow Night!

its been a great run, but all good things must come to a hiatus. we’ll be back soon but this is the last time to see this show. wont you come! i plan on drinking copious beers and possible karaoke afterwards.

heres some pics from our last show, thank you keith huang!

so bring yo ass tomorrow night to the PIT (www.thepit-nyc.com) at 8pm.

a well balanced meal

seeing this tv dinner cupcake sets reminds of how much i used to love kids cuisine! remember those?

i used to wish my mom was lazier so i would get to eat them more often. i would think “your mom works three jobs and feeds you tv dinners everynight?? damn, your lucky” about other kids. the food in these things suck, dont get me wrong. but you know what doesnt suck?? stickers of penguins.

also, best days ever in 4th grade consisted of

for some reason i coveted tiny rubbery ham and processed cheese sandwiches with crackers as the bread. this is way before they came out with pizza lunchables or ones with reeses cups.

GNAR GNAR.

has anyone else noticed…

asian women drink coffee out of straws?

*p.s.  where the hell can i get these? i will wear them obnoxiously often.

zoo zoo STUDIO

my lovely band CUDZOO and the Faggettes recorded their first album this weekend. it took a lot of dispersiveness, patience, and  cheese.

let me guess, polly wants a medal?

DENVER – A parrot that alerted his owner about a baby who was choking was recognized as a hero by the Red Cross. Willie the parrot

received the Red Cross award Friday for his actions in November, when he and owner Megan Howard were baby-sitting a toddler. Willie repeatedly yelled “Mama, baby” when Howard went to the bathroom and the toddler started to choke on her breakfast. Howard saved the baby by performing the Heimlich maneuver but she said Willie “is the real hero.”

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oh please, a parrot starts bitching about baby mama drama while a kid happens to be choking, and suddenly he’s a hero!

i cant sleep

its like christmas eve night. or the night before the first day of school. except there isnt a fat man in my house and im not having anxiety dreams about nudity (respectively). nay! im too pumped because my band CUDZOO records their first album tomorrow! so hang on to your hats! (since we are about tomake your mind explode) get some aloe (cause we are going to melt your face off with rock)

so no sleep. instead i am drinking a stout and watching ace of cakes. they are baking giant cake sized girl scout cookies.  which has reignited my desire to make it unto

http://www.pimpthatsnack.com

masterpieces on the site include:

creme egg!

or my personal fav.. the ferrero rochet!

sinful, just sinful!

as of today, no one has ever done a bag of combos. im talking pretzel and cheddar, F that cracker combo ish.

whatcha think? suggestions? sweet or savory?

im not going to name names..

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/18965374/detail.html#-

but if they start punishing people for farting, i know some folks who are getting the chair.