office supply monster

he enjoys line dancing and lady monsters.

i want biggest boobs in the world

is a googled phrase that led someone to this blog.

WIEBELIEVE!

after an evening of drinking guiness, I woke up to find the greatest news about my favorite guiness book of world records holder, Steve Wiebe. He’s back on top!!

Claiming the Donkey Kong Jr title. Go suck on some hot sauce Billy Mitchell!!

Below is a picture of me and the Wiebe…

you cant see from the photo but i made a tag of his face with “WieBelieve!” under it. sprayed it on tshirts and wore it that day and brought him one.. the host of the event caught wind of it and presented it to him referncing me as the President of the Steve Wiebe fan club. my all time nerdiest moment!

last year around this time, my good friend Doug was the Guiness book of World Record Judge ( i think thers 11 in existence) who headed up the video games department. he was kind enough to take me , the boyfriend, and my fellow finger moustache toter maegan along to Fun Spot in Vermont for the Twin Galaxies annual tournament (if you have no idea what im talking about.. rent “King Of Kong” right now and you will realize the excitement that i was containing). it was amazing!

i became obsessed with taking the Qbert title (the current holder is like 85 so i will have my day) and maegan and i spent about $200 on skeeball. it was rough, we didnt leave with a Guiness plaque, but we did reach our goal….

GOOGLEY EYES!

panic attack!

i could sure go for a bubbly bath

need to reconnect with a lover? the worlds most ridiculous bathub is only located a skip away in the Poconos!

but dont soak up too many suds in there.. no one wants to fall into a bouquet of sunflowers.

** if this doesnt rev your engine, check out the sexy egyptian painting above the fireplace. few things are hotter than hieroglyphics i imagine egyptian pillow talk going something like this:

Tut: “Ohhh Bird Head. Eagle eye, eagle eye. Squiggly mark, pyramid shape”

Cleo: Slaps him! ” human eye, two dots…”

Tut: “ohh girl, I’m talking eagle eye…”

then they make out. the end.

rivers delivers!

i must have you

ever since i laid eyes on you in Sky Mall years ago, I’ve wanted you. before you were popular. before you were a star. you made my heart go topsy turvy. now get your sweet self between some bacon & lettuce and get in my face.

wrong side of the tracks

i dont normally post pervey stuff, but i found this business card on the F train (no pun intended) tracks a few nights ago and scooped it up. WTF.

i dont know if it is

A) the saddest, most WHORE’ibble attempt at meeting people ive ever seen.

or

B) the cruelest trick anyone has ever played on another fellow human.

However, I do know one thing it IS. it IS an embarassment when it falls out of your notebook on the train while a creepy huge man with a boxing glove keychain wont stop staring at you. then sees it on the train floor and give you a big grin. oh new york!

it “otter” be illegal..

to be this cute.

These four little furry bundles were born at the Sea World in Orlanda last month. They are Asian small-clawed otters and will be quite the handful.

Im not normally one for stereotypes, but I;ll be damned if they dont all look alike.