I was on the R train a few days ago and look up to meet gazes with none other than Miss Angela Chase. That’s right, motha f*ckin Claire Danes. Now I know since the 90’s she’s done some not as cool work (for example Stardust and stealing Mary Louise Parker’s baby daddy) but back in the day, she was an idol. My So Called Life was my favorite show, and Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo Dicaprio? Forget it. Baz Lurman created 90 minutes of porn for preteens right there….

So, I meet eyes for a second and she has got crazy stare. Seriously yall, it’s not like the size of her peepers made me feel awkward or I’m over exaggerating hte situation, the woman looked straight into my soul then it bounced back into her eyes then she reflected my soul into my eyes and made me see myself for the first time.. It was like she thought, “Hmmm, who should I make feel uncomfortable on this train today? Oh how about that red head whose playing BrickBreaker on her Blackberry and eating raw cashews?” Done.

I didn’t look back up at her, obvi, and just exited the train at Union Square. I guess she got out there thru the other train door and sure enough, on the platform… another eye lock/she sees all my deepest secrets and fears with one look.

She’s Clairiffying I tell ya!

*Yes, I made two “Claire” puns.
*When I told my friend Maegan that I simply saw her on the train she asked “Did she stare right thru you with her huge alien eyes?” Claire is on a rampage!

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