Extremely Important Science Update.

Did you know that scientists recently discovered a new species of monkey in Columbia?

Previously, this region of Amazon rainforest hadn’t been explored because of major violence. But three years ago it let up, and scientists could finally look for elusive species that they had heard rumor of.

Enter: a super f*cute monkey. Look at that fiery red beard!

Native Columbian scientist, Javier Garcia, was finally able confirm the monkeys’ existence when he rolled up on a group of them three sheets to the wind on Guiness, singing the Pogues.

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