in honor of Earth day I want to take a moment and honor those animals that are no longer with us. however, These species make me think that I might have the wrong idea about Mother Nature. I always picture her as a warm, nurturing lady with wildflowers in her hair and a big pot of quinoa on the stove top.. but perhaps shes more like Tyra Banks. And survival of the fittest follows the guidelines of America’s Next Top Model. Clearly these species were not the cutest in the kingdom and based on their lack of existence, bitches were’nt fierce enough.
(cue a mashup remix of glen miller’s “I’ll be seeing you” and Puffy’s “I’ll be missing you”)
Passenger Pigeon (aka: the cute pretty country girl)
Carribean Monk Seal (the plus size)
Dodo Bird (the so ugly she’s pretty one)
Thalycine (the “you dont know me!” attitude mixed race chick)
na na na na na, You wannt be on top? (of the food chain)