good things come in scientifically modified with years of weird breeding small packages

and in this time of recession i know fully well that we need to evaluate what we need versus what we want. gifts should be something useful, not just frivolous spending for the sake of it. thats why this xmas i am simply going to ask for one gift. thats right, just one.

new york is a tough city. i leave my place in brooklyn and may not come home till the end of the night with the molasses speed subway system and everything that would be a waste of time. often i am lugging around a  30 pound purse or backpack filled with my laptop, a change of clothes, a couple 1 pound bags of m&m’s– point is i dont want to regret it later in life when i am going to the creepy chiropractor three times a week.

so this christmas, i simply need


a miniature horse to carry all my stuff. id throw the sweetest pink saddlebags on this cutie (or maybe a backpack) and easily be able to sneak him or her on the subway. its necessary ok folks? dont believe me, look at this..



*** side note, i remember one time i mentioned to my friend doug that the biggest reason i would want to go back in time to the dinosaur era is because horses were the size of chickens. to which he replied “i would wear two horses on my feet like roller skates”. imagine the races we could have.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: